Priorities

     My Aunt has always said... well, she has a lot of good advice, but she often says that if something is a priority then you would make time for it. And if you say it's a priority but don't make time to do it, then what dose that really say about you. I'm paraphrasing of course. Her saying is much more to the point but you get the idea. As I look at what I am prioritizing at the moment, there isn't a lot of stuff that I want to do. It's mostly what has to be done.

     I don't talk a lot about myself here, and I do that on purpose. The internet is an amazing and terrible thing. We know this, but I'm sure anyone reading this blog can glean some basics from in between the lines. I have decided to change and tell you a bit more about what is going on in my life.  

    I am a thirty year old woman. I don not have a career, but I have a few very small jobs. I live with my sister and together we take care of my Grandmother whose health has declined rapidly in the last year and a half. I pray that we will be heading toward recovery some time soon. The day-to-day is often a struggle for us all, more so in the last month and mostly from our own doing. In the wake of the Purge and day-to-day of caring for another person I have been trying to get some control of a life that has become focused on putting out fires, instead of actively planning for the future. I am trying to take control of the only thing I can, my surroundings. Organizing our home has become a goal that I can attain, but one I am mismanaging.

      I realized something last night as my sister and I sat down to plan out what we were doing today and to brainstorm a schedule for my grandmother. We have been winging it for the last few weeks since she returned from the hospital. Deep in the middle of the Purge she spent a week in the hospital and then we had several days where family visited and took over some of her care. It was enough to get us through the yard sale but this minimal effort is not helping anyone. A schedule will help us as much as it will help her. Anyway, I realized that we were prioritizing the wrong things, or in fact not prioritizing anything at all. I was making plans and making lists and not really getting anywhere because I felt I had to get all of it done right now or as soon as possible. So as my sister and I added even more to-do items to the already long list, I realized that we needed to focus on one thing, or one area at a time. The obvious choice being the front yard and the growing pile of garbage that needed to be taken to the dump.

    Our wonderful neighbors have been a true blessing since my grandfather died, and one often takes loads to the dump for us and offered to drop off his trailer again today. (You would be surprised how much garbage we make. Especially while cleaning things out. We donate and recycle and still have at least a truck load a month.) So getting the garbage bagged and ready to go was a major priority. But first was the container garden that my sister had started instead of our usual garden which we have yet to make produce since my grandfather passed. She had decided to plant things right in the middle of the driveway where we would need to move to load the stuff for the dump. (Melli enjoys gardening and I keep an eye on her so that she doesn't spend to much money on it.) Moving the pots to a graveled area meant opening room for us to move out the garbage from the house and garage. We emptied the many cans we have around the house, getting any boxes and collecting the items from the numerous house project that needed to go but where too large to fit in the garbage can and put them in the driveway to be loaded this afternoon. All of which took less than twenty minutes.

     Our other main priority is the garage, which we worked on again today. It is looking really good. As my sister keeps saying, if we work only one hour a day it will get done. We spent more than an hour out there and I feel as if we can finally see daylight. As the day progressed and the major items were marked off my list, I added in this or that as I was doing it already. But making something my priority and realizing that I can't and don't need to do it all at once has taken a lot of stress off. I still have my list, which includes house chores, errands, personal projects and even a bit of my writing to dos, but I am okay with just doing a little at a time.

     Heck I even spent time writing today, which is what I really want to do.

      I hope to get back to writing about writing, or even review some books and tools to help writers, but right now I am happy to get back in the habit of posting at least twice a week. Yes, it's about whatever is on my mind, but it writing and I enjoy it. Now, to Prioritize my to-dos for tomorrow. So Goodnight!

    To my fellow writers: WRITE ON!

The Aftermath

     The Purge is complete and somehow still not over. Tubs line one side of my rather large drive way waiting to be sorted through for those items that will not be given to the Salvation Army, but sold on-line or through a friend. The SA truck pick up is scheduled and I only plan to pull out a few large ticket items in hopes of selling them very soon; emphasis on very. There was talk of another yard sale, but I think I might have a mental breakdown before then. The aftermath of sorting through almost everything we own (about 90%) means there was a lot of things that we didn't want to go, but didn't know where to put them. We played musical chairs with some furniture, moving things into the garage to act as storage and put up lots of modular shelves, most of which we already owned. Now is the task of finding homes for all of the displaced items. Sorting, organizing, and labeling is happening at a slow pace, but I can finally see some progress. For the past week it's felt like I was just moving things from one stop to another, with no real cleaning getting done.
     I am too tired to work on my own writing, but have devoured some new books in the last few days. My sleep has been troubled and I wonder if some serious scheduling is in order. Our plans are little more than a to-do list for the day, usually consisting of two major projects and some basic house chores, most prominent is the laundry.
     A daily check list or schedule might make me feel better, but I am not sure how long it will last. Hopefully long enough to release some of the stress we are under. Some routine would be nice.

How do you handle big projects? Are you like us and tend to bite off more than you can chew? Or do you plan, execute and admire your handy work? Do you ever look around in the middle and ask yourself what in the world were you thinking? I know I do!

I hope to post more about writing in the future, but this organizing kick has gotten a hold of me right now. Spring Fever or something. I must admit, looking out at the rows of plastic tubs almost ready to be picked up, I feel a large weight being lifted from my shoulders. I no longer have to worry about that stuff. It is a good feeling!

The Things We Carry With Us

     We are counting down the hours until the yard sale begins. A few days ago we were running behind, but now we are nearing the finish line. Looking out over a sea of tables and stuff, I wonder about the things we label as important. Why have we kept all of this stuff? There are still more tubs and boxes out there of things that we didn't want to get rid of.
     These are boxes full of memories, but they have been sitting, forgotten in the dark. My memories are no less vivid. Even if I had the room to house all of these things, I don't want to. There is no place for them, but how to keep the memories? So I will take pictures of things before they sell, put them on facebook, and add them to my box of keepsakes that have yet to be organized. Someday, someone might find them, the jumbled pieced of my life and wonder at their significance.
     We keep so much, either because it meant something to us, or was too expensive to replace or get rid of. I am thinking a lot about what we leave behind. For someone who will have to box my processions and hand over those important items to friends and family there is no way to tell what is significant, and what is not. For someone on the outside, nothing and everything is full of potential meaning. My sister said she had read something that said just that; because they didn't know what was important, everything was.
     We carry so much with us that it can become a burden. It is the life style to which we wish to become accustomed and yet it is a constant trial. We acquire more; we need to maintain it, clean it, care for it. It takes our time and money and yet we are happy for more. There is never enough.
    Anyway, though my mind is contemplating the lightness of a minimalistic life, I know myself. I will continue to collect what I like, what I love. The need for balance between what I have and what I want, and what I need is apparent. Because the truth is simple; in the end, we can't take it with us.