Adulting: I didn't sign up for this!

“Adulting.” I have been using this phrase for a while now, but have only recently learned a bit of its origins. Supposedly the term was created by my generation to describe the feeling of being an adult in a time where twenty year olds to us who are thirty-something have remarkably little experience with what previous generations would describe as adult responsibilities. We’ve created this new wannabe verb for something we should have been doing all along.

“I didn’t sign up for this.” At some time in our young lives we begin to envision ourselves as adults. The closer we get to that magical threshold the wiser we believes ourselves to be. We suddenly know how the rest of our lives will play out. The coming years are no mystery to us, and at some point, sooner for some than others, reality comes crashing in. There are responsibilities that high school algebra and college English didn’t prepare us for. Looking back, some subjects should have been added in to our curriculum, perhaps as elective material, but practical and necessary they would have been. Life 101. Where are the courses on how to cook a meal for two in fewer than thirty minuets, or how to budget for groceries on a poor student income? Where is the study of balancing checkbooks, or better yet, how to reduce and stay out of debt? No one told me about property taxes, home maintenance or medical debt while I took out endless student loans. Somehow the responsibilities of cleaning my room and taking out the trash just don’t prepare you for the truth of it all.

Sometimes I look around and feel as if the world is somehow ahead of me. It is as if my generation as a whole, well at least fifty percent of it, has reached that golden land of adulthood that I am only now glimpsing at such a late age. (The other half has been Adulting... sporadically, still stuck at home letting previous generations take care of them.) It’s enough to make one want to throw in the towel.

And yet, I am still striving for that imaginary figure I saw long ago, the me that was a successful adult living comfortably in the style I would wish to be accustomed.

Truthfully, it’s not so bad. I suppose my path in life is far from the norm. For too long I was sheltered from life by my grandparents who loved me dearly, and when the bubble burst I fell hard. I went from being a “kept” grandchild to suddenly caring for a sick grandparent and having to make all the decisions and manage the finances on my own. It was a sink or swim moment, and truthfully, I almost went under. The Lord has pulled us through, that’s for sure. From the mess I made of our finances to learning my limits and how far I could push them, the first twenty-five years of my life really didn’t prepare me for where I am now. I’ve learned a lot, and have a ways to go yet in overcoming my unrealistic expectations.

To turn this to a happier note and what got me thinking about all of this, I got a job! I signed up with a temp agency as nothing that I was doing on my own was getting any interest, and within a month I had my first “real” job. By “real” I mean something that pays over minimum wages. I am so happy to be working and paying bills that I could sing and dance as I delete debt from my budget spreadsheet. Unfortunately, writing has fallen to the way side. I guess my time management skills are still not up to par. I am tired and get home to help my sister who is now caring for my grandmother on her own, full time. By the end of the day I’m lucky to scribble down a few notes about characters or revision. In fact I’ve been meaning to write a new post for over a month and am only getting to it right now. Yet, I shouldn’t complain. Thank God for answered prayers!!

So I am starting to get a handle on working a full time job, my 9-5. Hopefully in the coming weeks I will be able to fine tune my routine and make time for writing and relaxing after work.

I am trying to work on Lost Lady and Lost Prince (I am no long happy with this title) but I am having trouble finding the motivation. I suppose I will have to ‘Just do it,’ as the slogan goes.  Once I start I find I can get into the words pretty quickly.

Well, enough about me and now some questions for you! Are you an Adult or Adulting? Are you like me and trying to improve yourself and reach some mental icon of what you’re suppose to look like at this stage of your life? Or are you happy as you are, secure in yourself?

Some people might argue that it’s human nature to want to change something about ourselves. I am no exception. What areas do you want to improve on, in writing or in life? Do you have any goals that you’ve recently reached? Please let me know, and tell me if you celebrated and how! Did you reward yourself at small increments or with a big finale?

To my readers and you writers out there, Write On!